Wow. This past Friday, early morning, at about 2am I got a call from my uncle telling me my Papa had suffered a heart-attack and him and my Meme were following the ambulance to the hospital, but it wasn't looking good. In total shock I screamed to Nate what had happened and that we had to go get mom. I was under strict instructions to not let mom know until I was close to Lubbock because she would have gotten in her car and drove like a maniac all upset and either gotten in a wreck or hit a deer. It's big time deer country where my Meme and Papa lived so it's dangerous at night time. SO Nate insists on driving because he said I also didn't need to be driving upset. So as we are getting ready to leave, I get another call from my uncle saying it was over. Papa had died. Writing these words don't make sense. My Papa can't die, surely. I never dreamed of the day he might pass on. He was healthy and never had any problems that scared us. I seriously thought he would live to be 100.
All day Thursday I guess he had been feeling bad and sort of just complaining of his arms hurting. My Meme wanted him to go to the hospital, but being a man, he said no. He later said he maybe would go but he just couldn't quite make his mind up. He had problems with his left shoulder before so he thought it might be his rotator messed up. Later on he complained some more and decided to take some Aspirin. After he took them he said he was feeling better and would just lay down. So him and Meme went to bed and Meme said he woke up up by just grabbing her arm and saying, "Oh babe". Those were his last words, he was gone right after. They could never get a response out of him after that.
Nate and I drove all the way to Lubbock and got there at about 4:30am and had to wake my mom up and tell her the news. THIS WAS SO HARD! I had to tell my mom her daddy died. She hung her head and kept saying, "What" and "No" and "Daddy". Shock was still set in all of us and none of us could figure this out. Out of the blue, this just happened. So Nate and I drive back to Amarillo after telling mom and her seeming to be well enough to drive since it was almost light outside and my brother was going to be with her. We get back to Amarillo and pack and start our journey to Voss, where they lived. About a 5 hour drive. We were SO tired. God bless Nate, what a good man. I can't imagine going through this without him, he is so good to me and my family. He is reminding me of my Pa more and more everyday through this.
The funeral went well and we all got through. This has been the saddest thing I have ever had to pull myself through. I have never in my life felt like this. My Papa was a wonderful wonderful man. It's hard to imagine life without him now. I can't even think of life without him. Him and my Meme were just one person and so I just pray for my Meme and the days to come. She is still in slight shock and I know her hardest days haven't hit yet. After 52 years with someone, it's hard to say goodbye. My Meme is so strong though and her faith in the Lord is something I admire her and always have. She knows Pa is in Heaven having a great time, whatever he's doing at the moment. No telling what he's getting into up there! No doubt though he is with Jesus and that makes me smile. Who better to be with than Jesus and our Maker? I can't help but smile when I think of my Papa up in Heaven. As Christians we all know that it's very hard to fill that empty spot that makes us so sad for so long, but we know that there is nothing to worry about, God has a plan and this was part of it. None of us are promised tomorrow, but we are promised eternal life if we are believers. So until I see my Pa again (FOREVER), I will just hold on dear to his memory and what he left me with.
Some of my favorite memories of Papa were:
-Taking trips to Ruidoso with him and Meme. They always took me if I wanted to go and I remember so much about those trips!
-Him singing happy birthday to me for as long as I can remember! If he wasn't with me, he was calling me on the phone just a singing. I will miss that come July and I don't get a call from him. I bet he will be in Heaven singing it. I sure hope so!
-Me ironing his shirts when I was little because I LOVED ironing. I would iron ever shirt he had and he would insist I be payed a quarter for each one!
-The games he came to watch me cheer at
-Him coming to San Angelo when I was in college to take me to eat and buy me groceries because he knew I had to be hungry
-Him coming to San Angelo to mow our yard for us when the grass got too tall
-Him always making sure I had extra change in my pocket in case I needed a new pair of shoes, he understood what it was like to love shoes. I must have gotten it from him.
-He was my shopping buddy. Him and Meme would take me to San Marcos and we would spend the entire weekend just shopping away and eating at Cracker Barrel.
-Him telling me what a pretty young lady I was.
-When he ended his phone call he would say "Mmm bye". Not sure but he would but the Mmmm in front of the bye.
-When I last talked to him on the phone, he said, "I love you a whole bunch". So those were his last words to me, and how sweet that is.
-Our candy obsession. My Papa LOVED candy and anytime we hit the candy isle, we would have more than enough. Then our stomachs would hurt and Meme would say, "Well you two ate all that candy and that's why!"
-Watching a Christmas Story with him EVERY single year during Christmas! He loved that movie!!
I could go on all day. I was so close to my Papa and I feel very blessed to have had him in my life. He was the best grandpa I could have ever wanted, plus more! He was perfect in my eyes. I will miss him so much! I wish he could have known the kids I have one day, it hurts me to think of him not getting to meet them, but I will sure pass on his memories! My kids will all know what a great man he was and how much he would have loved them! I love you Papa and I miss you.
December 1st
13 years ago
4 comments:
i love you kenley! i'm so sorry you're having to go through this, it's never easy, but cling to the fact that you have so many wonderful memories, and he went to a much better place quickly and peaceful. what a great man he must have been! i'll keep you and your family in my prayers!
Kenley, you and your whole family are in my prayers and thoughts. I remember your Papa being there to watch you cheer on more than one occasion. What a sweet soul to have graced this earth and so many lives I am sure of it. I love you dear Kenley...
Kenley,
I'm so sorry to read about this. I have not yet experienced losing a grandparent and I don't want to imagine it happening. No words will make it less confusing or make it make sense. Just know how happy he must be in heaven. I pray for peace and comfort for you and your family.
Oh Kenley, I am so sorry! :( I can't imagine how hard it must have been to tell your mom...for both of you. I am thinking about you and praying for your family. What a blessing it is to have so many great memories of him...I can tell you really cherished the time you had with him!
Post a Comment